After signing some papers with a major record studio, in hopes to truly launch my music career, I was quickly sent into this little shoebox room and told me to put on some headphones. I did so, and was soon listening to some of the best beats I ever heard. They vibrated through my body, sending me into a frenzy as I let the music consume me. Once the track was over, I looked at myself to see my obese male Filipino body replaced with that of a hot and curvy black woman. The suits said this was done to increase my marketability, which should piss me off, but I feel so goddamn fine right now that I couldn’t care less.